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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Chris West Evangelizing Government Employees?

Christopher West has long held Hugh Hefner up as an icon, someone who tried to rescue the naked from the Manichean Puritanism (tm) of American religious bigotry.

He has also long held that those who are pure should be able to look on the body of a naked woman without shame. He famously held that he purified himself by seeing an image of the Blessed Virgin's breasts as she was nursing Jesus (and she ain't no flat-chested mama, according to Chris), and recalled every pornographic image he had every beheld, offering it all to her.

Well, government employees are now gaining Westian sensibilities.

At least one senior government executive has gained the purity of thought necessary to look beyond the nudity of the female form and show love and concern for those caught up in the work of pornography and prostitution.

For instance, one senior executive spent at least 331 days looking at
pornography on his government computer and chatting online with nude or
partially clad women without being detected, the records show. When finally
caught, the NSF official retired. He even offered, among other explanations, a
humanitarian defense, suggesting that he frequented the porn sites to provide a
living to the poor overseas women. Investigators put the cost to taxpayers of
the senior official's porn surfing at between $13,800 and about $58,000. "He
explained that these young women are from poor countries and need to make money to help their parents and this site helps them do that," investigators wrote in
a memo.

Now, clearly, Westians should applaud this man for his discernment and holiness!

As Westians frequently point out, "You can't evangelize a woman or man unless you look at him or her." Indeed. And you can't evangelize them unless you talk with them. And if they are paid to talk smutty, well, we can't be prudish about it - we have to make sure they don't lose their jobs, so we are forced to listen to the smut and talk with them, in order to make sure they are receiving a living wage.

As the Washington Times points out, it's all about love, really.

We are saddened, of course, that the man didn't have a chance to show off his anal foreplay skills, but perhaps that should be left for another session.

For now, we must simply do as Chris West does. Pick up the most beautiful artwork we can ever imagine, let Hugh Hefner rescue it from the trash, think pure thoughts, and look at what Hugh offers us.

I'm sure John Paul II would approve.


Brendan said...

You obviously cannot really draw a comparison here. The "Westians" would never defend the senior executive. His case is really not defensible because he, unlike Christopher West, is not Christopher West.

Steve Kellmeyer said...

Well, you are right in finding that fatal flaw in the comparison.

But perhaps he has a bunch of Chris West books and tapes next to the list of 900 numbers. Maybe he even uses them as bookmarks.

I mean, if he listened to West on endless loop, perhaps played some of West's monologues for the young ladies over the phone... wouldn't that count?

After all, if we must recognize Hugh Hefner as a reforming religious influence, then shouldn't this man's love be considered a reforming influence for all those naked young women?

I think Dr. Healy and Dr. Smith should see if he's willing to write a short essay in support of our favorite theologian. It's not like he won't have the time, now.

Patrick said...

Well, really, who cares what actually happened. It's all about what intentions I've decided he must have. INTENTIONS, people! Hey, that's easy. No wonder people have so much fun saying that.

Steve Kellmeyer said...

That's right, it's about intentions.

And clearly the man's intentions were to live out Westian sanctity.

Why else would you spend over $50,000 in government money on a porn site?

Steve Kellmeyer said...

Oh, oh, oh, I can't let this slip by...

Dr. Healy!
This poor man really IS like a caged Bengal tiger!

Or he certainly will be after the arraignment.

Oh, free him, Dr. Healy, free him!

tour86rocker said...

This is hysteria, Steve. I can't imagine the mental hoops you had to jump through to entertain the thought that West supports pornography. You earn my pity more with every word you write against West.

And because you probably demand it of anyone before you pay attention to their words, I am receptive to criticism of West. This post was terrible. You did not successfully link West to this man in any way.

Steve Kellmeyer said...

Yes, tour86rocker, I know, you can't make the connection. I'm sorry. Maybe you should read other blogs? Clearly this one is beyond you.