Everyone says say teen years are hard. That's bullshit. Homeschool and all these problems go away. I never had a dime's worth of trouble with any of my four children. They are all in their 20s now.
When people complain about teen years, I have no idea what they are talking about. When your children are born, and for the next decade, point out to them continuously that for all of human history, a child was expected to be mature enough to marry and start a family by age 12. Up until the 1917 Code of Canon law, that was the law of the Church.
So, teach your children that they are adults by age 12 and you will treat them that way. You expect them to be ready to be married by age 12. Then, follow through. Treat everyone 12 years old or older as an adult, let them make adult choices, because they ARE adults. That's how civilization treated them for all of human history. It's only the last century that thinks they shouldn't be treated as adults. How's that working out for y'all?
Biological reality trumps modern civilizational bullshit. Once puberty hits, they CAN conceive children. Period. Doesn't matter if they are "ready" or "mature enough" for children (were YOU "ready" for children? The hell you were. So, that's a stupid argument).
They CAN conceive children. God doesn't give you more than you can handle, right? So, if God is willing to ensoul a child in a 12-year old's womb, then the 12-year old can handle it. Deal with the reality you claim to embrace. If you want to argue with this, then you don't actually believe about God what you say you believe. You don't believe what the Church taught for most of Christian history.
12 year olds are adults. For most of human history, in every recorded culture, in every geographic region of the world, without any exception at all, 12-year olds could legally marry and start families. Get that through your thick head, build that expectation in them and then TREAT them as adults, and you will have zero problems with the teen years.
Remember:
Amadeus Mozart wrote his first symphony at 8
Malala Yousafzai spoke out publicly for girls' education at 11 and survived an attack at 15.
Warren Buffett bought his first stock at age 11 and filed his first tax return at 13.
Age 12
- David Farragut was in command of a sailing ship by the age of 12.
- Stevie Wonder signed with Motown and began recording/performing professionally as "Little Stevie Wonder" at age 12.
- Mark Zuckerberg created a messaging program (ZuckNet) for his father's dental office at age 12.
- Mark Cuban started a business selling garbage bags and stamps door-to-door at age 12
- Alexander the Great began military training and leadership roles very young; tamed a legendary horse at age 12 and led campaigns as a teen.
- Blessed Virgin Mary gave birth to God at age 12.
Age 13
- Alexander Hamilton was orphaned and working as a clerk in a merchant business, supporting himself and gaining attention for his writing/intellect that led to further opportunities.
- Bobby Fischer won the U.S. Open Chess Championship (after earlier standout games like the “Game of the Century”).
- William Kamkwamba built a windmill from scrap materials in Malawi to power his family’s home, teaching himself engineering.
- Jordan Romero climbed Mount Everest (youngest person at the time to do so).
- Landers Gaydosh won a world championship in ice climbing.
- Anne Frank began her famous diary while in hiding, documenting life under Nazi occupation (her writings became a profound historical document).
- Willie Johnston was the youngest recipient of the Medal of Honor (U.S. Civil War, as a drummer boy around 13).
Age 14
- Thomas Edison started his own newspaper at age 14.
- Nadia Comăneci: Scored the first perfect 10 in Olympic gymnastics at age 14 (1976), winning multiple golds.
- Louis Braille: Invented the Braille reading/writing system at age 15 (tweaked from earlier work around 13–14), revolutionizing access for the blind
- Laura Dekker began her solo voyage around the world on August 21, 2010, at the age of 14, and completed the circumnavigation of the globe on January 21, 2012, at the age of 16, sailing a 40-foot ketch named Guppy.
Do you wonder why so many people find the teen years hard to deal with? That's easy. If you treated any other adult like you treat your children, how well would that go over? Would that adult punch you in the mouth? If so, then why wouldn't your kids fight the same urge?
Yeah, THAT is why you have trouble in the teen years. Get this into your head. You have ten years from birth to get your child and yourself into the correct mindset. You gotta get your mind right.
If you don't, if you insist on treating a 12-year old like a 4-year old, you created for yourself and your child a runner and a rebel, which does nobody any good. You can try to be the Boss, but you just end up with Cool Hand Luke. Is that really what you want?
You have to trust yourself and your child. Trust yourself, that you did the best you could. Then trust your child to be an adult. Yes, at age 12. Let them make their own mistakes. There's nothing wrong with mistakes. If you raised them right, they want to be like you. Most kids want to be like their parents. The best thing you can do for your child is let them be the adult they want to be.
Sometimes that means they will make exactly the same mistakes you made. That is their choice, and you really cannot stop it.You are not in control of their life, THEY are in control of their life. Let them make mistakes, then point out that you did exactly the same dumb thing at roughly the same age, and apologize to them for that legacy. You owe them that much.
Your mistakes were your responsibility.
Their mistakes are their responsibility.
Don't confuse the two.
Let them own themselves.
