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Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Modesty and Scandal, Part 2

There is a lot of evidence that women engage in "slut-shaming" much more than men. It isn't that women are concerned about modesty, rather, women don't like the competition. Women form groups to ostracize and bully "outsider" women, and "modesty shaming" is one way to accomplish that goal.

If traditionalist women were really interested in following ancient norms, then traditionalist women would encourage men to wrap their hands in clothes to avoid touching female skin. In fact, this was arguably one of the reasons both sexes wore gloves whenever they appeared in public.

Despite the fact that gloves were, for centuries, considered an essential part of a public wardrobe, I have never heard a "modesty" warrior argue that glove-less women are dressed immodestly. Which makes me think this isn't about "modesty", it is actually about females using "virtue-signalling" to crush the female opponents in the competition for snagging and holding onto a mate. That is, the women are not actually interested in modesty, rather, they are interested in signalling how good they are, and how trashy their opponents are.

Do I need to point out that this is not  a Christian motivation?
Yes, I probably do.
Which is why this follow-up to my earlier post on the correct Christian attitude is necesssary.


Flambeaux said...

Thank you, Steve. I've been trying to explain this to people for years.

c said...

IMHO, the problem with most churches is the anonymity of visitors. You don't know who is a stranger, so how can you tread lightly and welcome them? While I was lapsed, I went to the same Church only on Christmas. Nobody knew I was there, so I never joined. Decades later I am back, and I believe most churches are cliques, so the one who is TOO formally dressed may be rejected as much as the careless one, just more subtly.

Wake up, people! I blame the preponderance of "sluts" on the men who won't avert their eyes! It is a Christian man's duty to resist a woman dressed immodestly, and offer her his jacket. If she is truly offensive, there should be six men running up to her, handing her their coverings! Trust me, she won't walk out!

However, we have a dearth of male leadership, so my experience is that code enforcement most often defaults to MOTHERS, who are not in the competition at all. Has this priest ever preached about modesty to avoid the problem in the first place - I'd be interested to know. If a man says something to enforce standards, he is an authority figure to be believed. If a woman even corrects her own daughter because of paternal neglect, she is the bad guy. Wake up... women are damned if they do and damned if they don't! Men get a blank check and the benefit of the doubt.

Steve Kellmeyer said...

No, there shouldn't be ANYONE running up to her, offering her coverings. She should be treated exactly as any other woman in the building. Done.

They are obviously comfortable as they are, or they wouldn't have come as they have come. When you notice them as being different, or treat them as being different, THEN they become uncomfortable. Being welcoming to someone is letting them come as they are and not making them feel uncomfortable or out of place.

Now, of course, we don't want anyone to STAY as they are. Everyone - including us - has to become holier. But their battle is not our battle, not today. Today's battle, the battle of the first day/week/month/year/whatever, is building a friendship with them. You just treat them exactly as you would everyone else, without paying any attention to whatever differences you might see.

That's what it means to be welcoming.

c said...

Nice to meet you. I appreciate your column. When I myself returned to the Church, the priest was so rude to my hubbie that he refused to cooperate in a convalidation ceremony. No welcome at all, just phone calls and paperwork.

Steve Kellmeyer said...

I've known priests like that.
Everyone has bad days, even priests.
I apologize for him.