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Wednesday, September 08, 2010


Do you know a friend, a co-worker, a relative, perhaps even a close family member who is a Muslim? Are you worried about how best to take care of him, and keep him from hurting himself or others?

Don't worry! Our new organization, Al-A-Muslim, is designed to help you deepen your co-dependent relationship! We'll teach you how to identify the qiblah, the direction of prayer, how to live out the Five Pillars of Islam, and tricks on keeping the Quran nearby in case your Muslim loved one suddenly needs to dip into it to justify beating you down!

But how can you ward off these sudden fits of righteous rage?
It's Simple!
Just Remember the Twelve Rules!

How To AVOID Inciting Muslims To Violence:

1. Don't Run an Orphanage

2. Don't Provide Eye and Health Care

3. Don't Provide Schools

4. Don't Provide Relief During Calamities

5. Don't Wash Dishes

6. Don't Treat a Muslim  "Almost Like A Son"

7. Don't Use the Name "Mohammed" In A Sentence

8. Wives, Don't Pretend To Be Independent

9. Girls, Don't Date

10. Men, Don't Defend Minorities.

11. Everyone: Don't Refuse To Convert To Islam

12. And for Allah's Sake, DON'T Burn a Quran

Obviously, all of these actions are deliberate provocations of the The Followers Of The Religion of Peace.

Learn the lesson that history teaches!
When they act out, it is OUR fault for provoking them!
Just do whatever they say, and nobody has to get hurt.

*Al-a-Muslim is selling franchise rights to interested parties. Please contact us to buy your way into our highly lucrative, sharia-compliant system!

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