Support This Website! Shop Here!

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

The Hillary Killer

Hillary’s campaign for President is dead.

It wasn’t Vince Foster that killed it.
It wasn’t the Travelgate scandal.
It wasn’t her radically pro-abortion stance,
It wasn't her new modified abortion stance.
It wasn’t her healthcare initiative or her promise to give America two presidents for the price of one.
It wasn’t her illegal dealings on the stock market.

None of these had the power to kill her. Like the Hydra, she has always sprouted two new heads after every crushing defeat and became all the more formidable against her opponents.

No, what seared her campaign with fire and ash was the only flame that can kill a presidential campaign in this day and age.

High-definition television.

President Nixon once claimed he lost the presidential election to John F. Kennedy because of bad make-up men, and there’s good reason to think he was right. He later gave Senator Edward Kennedy sage advice: to make a serious run for the presidency, lose twenty pounds. Certainly Ronald Reagan’s perennially warm wit was enhanced by his perennially black hair. But the rules of the game are changing dramatically in the next three years.

All television stations are required to begin broadcasting digital signals by 2006. The transition to full HDTV is supposed to be mostly complete by December 31, 2006. The analog channels in each region will disappear when the regional audience is 85% capable of receiving HDTV.

By March, 2007, all new televisions will be required to have HDTV capability. By November, 2008, HDTV will be in every home in America that cares to have a television set. And that spells the end for Hillary.

HDTV lets all the flaws shine through. Those baggy eyes, that less-than-perfect skin, the slightly balding hair style – these things are much more difficult to hide when the picture is five times sharper than we are used to. And the televisions consumers will have in their house by 2008 will be larger than ever before.

Can you imagine that enormous puffy, baggy-eyed face staring at you from your living room wall?

2008 will be the first campaign run on HDTV. Hillary Clinton is simply too old and worn out to survive the increased visual scrutiny. If porn stars are worried, what chance does Hillary have?

We don’t need Condi to stop Hillary.
We need a young, skin-perfect conservative.

1 comment:

GlenofKS said...

Hope Hilary doesn't discover facial plastic surgery!!!