Yoga and Shopping: The Ruin of Women

Women and Yogasms
Women enjoy yoga, and yoga is sexually titillating. The sex scandals involving yoga instructors are so well-known that the New York Times wrote a feature article saying exactly that: "Yoga and Sex Scandals: No Surprise There."


Women and Shopping
Shopping is likewise very problematic. Women who stumble on a sale experience the same rush of endorphins they would otherwise get through sexual stimulation. Really. I'm not making this up.

researchers hooked their subjects up to eye-tracking devices that showed them pornographic pictures, and then clippings from sale promotions, and the levels of excitement were the same! At least one New Yorker wasn't surprised, she told the paper that bargain shopping is "just like sex. Sales feel great for a moment, then you wake up the next morning, see the bill, say, 'What the hell did I just do?'" Men, you are one chocolate sale away from being replaced.

In fact, the physiological reaction for women was identical whether they were looking at porn or a great sales coupon. Perhaps this explains why four in ten women would rather go shopping. From a physiological perspective, we would not be wrong to say that for women, shopping at a really good sale is the same as publicly masturbating.

If you find that comparison disgusting, I'm sorry, go talk to the physiologists.
I'm just telling you the facts about the endorphin rush: what women are actually doing, even if they don't realize it.

Men looking at porn, women looking at a sales circular: literally no difference.

Yoga and Shopping: The Horrific Results (And They Really Are Horrific)

What happens when women go shopping? Well, blood banks routinely demonstrate that about one-quarter of the husbands in America (especially those with economically dependent wives) are being cuckolded. A cuckold is a husband that cares for children he think are his, but are actually the result of his wife's fling with her boss or yoga instructor.

The blood bank study concerns just the children in families with serious family medical issues. The blood banks discovered the cuckolding because the families had to go to a blood bank and test for a possible transfusion for a family member. That test has no false positives, but can have lots of false negatives.

How does this work?
Let's just take the most common markers - ABO and Rh.
A, B and Rh are all dominant.
O is regressive.
A, B and Rh+ all indicate that certain proteins exist on the red blood cell's surface.
O and Rh- means those proteins aren't there.

So, if Dad is O and Mom is O, but the kid is A, B or AB, then that child clearly came from a different dad. He has proteins on his red blood cells that couldn't come from Mom or "Dad." So those proteins must have come from the mailman.

Same with Rh. If Dad is (O-) and Mom is (O-), but the kid is (O+), then daddy don't live at that house.
He's got proteins from somebody else.

But what if Dad is A, Mom is B or O, and the kid is O?

Well, we can't tell from just the blood test. Dad may actually be AO. And if Mom had a fling with a Type O man, you wouldn't be able to tell from the AB blood test. Same is true if the kid is AB. Now if Dad is A and Mom is O, the kid can't be AB without outside help, but A, B or O are all possible.

Same with Rh factor. If Mom is (Rh+), Mom can have a fling with ANYONE and the Rh factor wouldn't indicate it. 82% of the population is Rh(+).

So, using only the markers that indicate, without shadow of a doubt, that Dad is a cuckold, 28% of fathers in families with medically difficult situations are being cuckolded by their wives.

This chart shows the potential AB blood types you may inherit. 

Parent 1

AB

AB

AB

AB

B

A

A

O

O

O

Parent 2

AB

B

A

O

B

B

A

B

A

O

Possible blood type of child

O

X

X

X

X

X

X

A

X

X

X

X

X

X

X

B

X

X

X

X

X

X

X

AB

X

X

X

X

When combined with the fact that up to 90% of divorces are begun by the wife, it gives you a whole new understanding of who is acting irresponsibly in marriage, doesn't it?

So, is the overuse of shopping and the pervasiveness of yoga causing the ruin of women? 

Increasingly, researchers say yes, as young men women become hooked on arousal, sacrificing their schoolwork and relationships in the pursuit of getting a tech-based buzz.

Every compulsive gambler, alcoholic or drug addict will tell you that they want increasingly more of a game or drink or drug in order to get the same quality of buzz.

Video games Shopping and porn yoga addictions are different. They are "arousal addictions," where the attraction is in the novelty, the variety or the surprise factor of the content. Sameness is soon habituated; newness heightens excitement. In traditional drug arousal, conversely, addicts want more of the same cocaine or heroin or favorite food.

The consequences could be dramatic: The excessive use of video games yoga and online porn shopping in pursuit of the next thing is creating a generation of risk-averse guys sex-crazed women who are unable (and unwilling) to navigate the complexities and risks inherent to real-life relationships, school and employment.

Stories about this degeneration are rampant: In 2005, a worker and two shoppers were killed during a Black Friday sale at Walmart. In the same year, an old woman at a Florida Brandsmart was trampled.

... This new kind of human addictive arousal traps users into an expanded present hedonistic time zone. Past and future are distant and remote as the present moment expands to dominate everything. That present scene is totally dynamic, with images changing constantly.

...Young men Women -- who play video games go shopping and use porn yoga the most -- are being digitally neurally rewired in a totally new way that demands constant stimulation. And those delicate, developing brains are being catered to by video games yoga and porn shopping-on-demand, with a click of the mouse, in endless variety.

Such new brains are also totally out of sync in traditional school classes, which are analog, static and interactively passive. Academics are based on applying past lessons to future problems, on planning, on delaying gratifications, on work coming before play and on long-term goal-setting.

Guys Girls are also totally out of sync in romantic relationships, which tend to build gradually and subtly, and require interaction, sharing, developing trust and suppression of lust at least until "the time is right."

Less extreme cases of arousal addiction may go unnoticed or be diagnosed as an attention or mood disorder. But we are in a national, and perhaps global, Guy Girl Disaster Mode that needs to be noticed and solutions advanced to fix a totally novel phenomenon, which will only increase in intensity and breadth without the concerted efforts of educators, gamemakers shopping malls, parents, guys and gals.

It's time to press play and get started reversing these trends.

Now that the connections have been revealed, I expect everyone to get very, very concerned about about women, shopping and yoga.  Fathers will warn their wives and daughters to stay away from really big sales (alright, they already do that). Priests will preach about the dangers of shopping and yoga. 

I know this article will be passed around all the Catholic sites, and the whole Catholic community will rise up to cluck and wring their hands over the ruin of women. 

Yeah, right.